Monday, October 29, 2012

The Best Part

Thank you everyone who has reached out to us since we shared our story. It means so much to us to know that so many people care!
The next part to our story is by far my favorite and I am so excited to share it with you!  It just proves to me that God knows what he is doing and we may not always like how he goes about things but ultimately there is a plan & it is ALL connected!
In August we were blessed with some new amazing friends here in Germany! For the first time that I can remember, a friend that I can talk openly about my faith with and learn from her vast knowledge(especially compared to mine!) of Jesus!  I was so excited to have a friend who is just as excited about The Lord as I am!
I say that to say this...since her and her husband had just moved here they were looking for a new church home, which was something we had been doing as well but on an extremely part time basis!  Christopher, for some reason has had reservations and I believe it was because he was uncomfortable at the first church we found so we just kind if stopped going. Anyway, one day my friend told me about this church she read about that she really wanted to try out one Sunday.  I did some research on the place & told Christopher about it.  When we found out that I was pregnant I felt even more that we should be going to church every weekend! So in September I got Christopher to agree to go with me to try this new place out.  Well then some things happened in the world & his work got a little crazy & he had to work almost every Sunday in September & then we had company come & had trips planned but had agreed on September 30 that the Sunday after our family left we would try out this new church.  Promise made it was happening & I was so excited!
Well then the miscarriage happened & our company left & we knew that we needed Him even more than before so we got up Sunday morning and went to Frontline Community for the 11 o'clock service on October 21 2012!  It was a day that truly changed our lives!!
When we walked in (more relaxed than we ever have been when trying out a new church I might add!) we instantly fell in love with the relaxed atmosphere and all the smiling faces everywhere and all the chatter!  We found some seats kind of tucked in the corner so we could try to hide and just observe!  Well that didn't work! Almost as soon as we got to our seats a man came over to us to introduce himself.  We talked for a few minutes and he asked us if we had any children.  My husband quickly and graciously answered the man with a simple not yet but hopefully one day.  The man then said to us to not rush and let God take the lead!  He told us to just enjoy each other while it is just the 2 of us because he and his wife didn't have much time after getting married before their first child came and now they have about 5 & look forward to the day when it is just the two of them again!!   That was the first thing that happened & we were immediately like "God is here & that was His way of telling us that this is where we need to be!"  A couple of other people came and introduced themselves to us after that too, which has never ever happened to us in any church that we went to for the first time!
Then they start the worship with songs and after a few songs the pastor tells us the story of how they pick the songs every week and how this week there were a couple songs that he didn't feel fit but for some reason God would not let him cast them off!  He says how he comes up with a plan every week but this week God was telling him he had to do something different.  He says all week God has been leading him to talk about healing.  As soon as he said they Christopher & I instantly looked at each other & of course I started crying!  He preached on healing & says that there are so many people with pain that need healing whether emotional, physical or whatever it was.  He asked for everyone who was in pain to please stand & he then asked the others to go to those standing and pray over them if they felt it in there hearts.  And would you believe that a woman came to us.  She told us that God had been pulling her heart towards us since the pastor had started talking.  She said that she had no idea what our story was or what our pain was but she asked if she could pray over us.  I was crying so much that I could not speak but she knew & began to pray over us & she asked the Lord to fill our hearts with peace and to take our pain away and to know that he is ultimately in control and to please bring us a sense of peace in knowing that he is in control & to please fill our hearts with peace.

the service went on and when we walked out of the front doors that morning there was an instant weight lifted from our shoulders & since then have absolutely been filled with peace. I didn't get her name & one day I will speak with her and tell her how much her words helped us that day. That happened exactly one week after our baby passed & after connecting everything I can never say that God does not know what he is doing!

Our lives were changed that day & we have finally found a church home!! Even when we ever move Frontline will always have a place in our hearts!!

Glory be to God!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Heavy Heart...

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize. Life has been kind of crazy & I feel that it is time to tell the world what has been going on. I started this blog so that our family & friends could keep up with us while living overseas so since I invited you all into our lives I feel I need to update you on everything.

For those of you who know we want to thank you for your kind words & prayers & support over the last few months & weeks.

On August 28 Christopher & I found out that we were going to be parents. So much love & joy immediately filled our hearts! We went to the doctor on what should have been my 10 week visit on October 1 and was told that our baby was only measuring at 6 weeks & the very confident Cpt told us that our dates were just off & there was nothing to worry about & to come back in 2 weeks. Of course we were nervous but we prayed & prayed & God gave us peace & reminded us that no matter what He is in control & has a plan.

Our babies picture from our visit! She was just a little sprout!

Then on October 11 I woke up to a little bit of bleeding. I carried on with my day in a peaceful manner thinking because it was so light that it was normal & everything was fine & my mom was visiting & it was her birthday. Then at 4:30am on October 12 I woke up to horrible cramping pains. (After I described them to the dr he said they were contractions)I tried to get comfortable again convincing myself that everything was fine until 6am when they were not getting any better & I was getting scared from googling my symptoms. I woke Christopher & we agreed to go to the ER. After they ran a bunch of tests & did several ultra sounds the dr came in to tell us that I was having a miscarriage.

Our baby stopped growing around 6 weeks, which was a week after we discovered that she was in there. What I was experiencing was my bodies natural way of pushing her out.

We had plans to go to Amsterdam for the weekend & I really wanted the distraction so we left the hospital around noon, came home & packed then got in the car & drove to Amsterdam. It was a wonderful distraction & one of the funnest & prettiest cities I have ever been to! Then on Sunday October 14 she passed.

Some people may wonder how we could have went out & had a good time while such an awful thing was happening and my response would be this.

God makes the ultimate decisions. There was nothing that we could have done to save her and honestly it would have been selfish of us to think that we could or even want to change the outcome. We look at this as a blessing and some people may argue & think that is an awful thing to say but let me explain.

It was a blessing because God chose us to carry his Angel. God chose our baby to go straight to heaven & not have to ever know any of the evils of our world. God has a plan & through this journey Christopher & I have grown stronger & deeper in love. We don't question Gods will we thank Him for blessing us with that baby even though it was for such a short time. We know we will see her again & until then she gets to be with my Grams & Gramps & all of our friends & family members that we have lost & miss so much!

We believed from the very moment we found out that our baby was a girl and her name was to be Abigail Grace Yates. Rest in Peace my little one mommy and daddy love you so much and we will see you again.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11

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